Humanizing Genderqueer 20: Charlie

Humanizing Genderqueer: Lived experiences of non-binary people.

Gender Wins: Recall a happy memory of when you felt most comfortable in your gender or most accepted as your gender by those around you.

I was sitting at the lunch table during the last day of freshman year and my best friend was practicing for her Spanish final. She was trying to name every single one of my friends and things they like (think "This is my friend Emma. She likes drawing and jumping on trampolines"). When she came down the line to me, she said "This is my friend Jeanna. Insert-Spanish-Gender-Neutral-Pronoun-Here likes writing and reading."

Gender Struggles: Tell about a time when circumstances would not allow, or you had to make sacrifices, to remain true to your gender.

I was at the store with my grandmother and we were shopping for clothes. She kept saying things like "We should get you more clothes that show your boobs" and "No, don't get that, it makes you look like a queer". Eventually, I had to get underwear, and she threw a fit when I wandered over to the boys aisle. I ended up having to leave the store for a good hour before I could come back and face her, explaining my identity to her. She hasn't spoken to me since.

Humanist Involvement: Suggest something the humanist community could do to make a positive impact on your personal quality of life.

Bathrooms where you don't have to pick whether you're a boy or a girl, and some sort of advertising campaign that lets people know that we aren't crazy, hormone ridden teenagers. We're people, and we're hurting. And sometimes, they are responsible for it.

How You Identify (optional): Name, age, gender, location, ethnicity, anything you deem relevant.

Charlie, 14, Genderfluid, White

Survey responses shared with permission.

Humanizing Genderqueer 18: Jay

Humanizing Genderqueer: Lived experiences of non-binary people.

Gender Wins: Recall a happy memory of when you felt most comfortable in your gender or most accepted as your gender by those around you.

I was going to the beach with a group of friends. Normally I feel really embarassed and awkward at the beach because I'm the only 'girl' most of the time in swim trunks and a t-shirt. My mom had made me feel awful over it too, and left me feeling down. But my friends didn't comment on it at all and we spent the day swimming, and I didn't have to wear the stupid bathing suit my mom had bought me and could walk around in trunks and the sun was warm and it was just wonderful.

Gender Struggles: Tell about a time when circumstances would not allow, or you had to make sacrifices, to remain true to your gender.

the most common times are during surveys or when people ask that people divide based on gender. I'm in the middle, and I flip back and forth without any reason or rhyme. It's tough to identify as either female or male, and often I refuse to circle either on a survey or test. In public events though or during activities, it's hard to speak up and say that you don't feel like you belong on the female or male end of the room.

Humanist Involvement: Suggest something the humanist community could do to make a positive impact on your personal quality of life.

A big thing is encourage the making of gender-neutral washrooms. Everyone deserves the right to pee without feeling uncomfortable or embarassed. I don't always look female, and I don't always look male, and I'd like to be able to not have to panic everytime I have to use the washroom. Never make someone uncomfortable either for using a washroom, if they aren't hurting anyone, just let them do their business in peace.

How You Identify (optional): Name, age, gender, location, ethnicity, anything you deem relevant.

Name: Jay/ Identify as: genderfluid/queer

Survey responses shared with permission.