Tuesday, June 19, 2012

What is "Cisgender" Anyway?

Reaction to Breaking down the Cisystem.

“I’ve begun to wonder if anyone is cisgendered in the sense that they really do identified with their assigned gender role?” I think it’s self-selection sometimes that I hang out with a bunch of people who don’t really feel that they identify with their assigned gender role to any strong degree. But while most people respond to me telling them I’m genderqueer with “well I don’t really ‘feel’ my gender, am I GQ too?” (to which I say “I don’t know, are you?”), some respond with “but why can’t you just be proud to be a woman?”

Of course there are more than 2 reactions, but those are the most common, and it’s made me see just how being cis must feel. For some, it’s being so very comfortable in one’s own gender that they don’t even need to be aware of it. I never came close to feeling that way until I started living more authentically. It’s like when you have an itchy tag on your shirt you can’t wait to get rid of, and then when you do you quickly forget it was ever there.

For others, expressing their gender is a form of self-celebration. Love yourself! Express yourself! They tend to feel like the reason I don’t want to express the gender they think I am is because I don’t have “pride” or I’m somehow damaged by society. Again, when I did settle into a more authentic gender expression, I suddenly felt that same sense of self-celebration.

So in my experience, cis people are people who are more likely to have felt those things their entire lives, not just post-transition (or post-adjustment, or whatever you want to call it).

Saturday, June 2, 2012


Q: Here's a hypothetical scenario. If you got into a relationship with a "women" and you had sex with this "women". A few months later you find out this "women" was not born a women. What would be your reaction?

A: OK, I'll hold back the laughter for long enough to (unfortunately) validate this question with a response:
Because anyone I'm in a relationship with and having sex with is HOT, so therefore any aspect of their past that contributed to their present state is also HOT.
Hell, I'll even add an extra T for emphasis on how HOTT the people are to me that I choose to be with.
Also, the "scare quotes" don't emphasize anything but your insecurity.

Friday, June 1, 2012

Genderqueer vs Transgender Struggles

Anonymous asked: So what are some of the differences in oppression that you personally have faced in being genderqueer vs. being transgender but having a binary identity. (sorry if the question is sort of confusing)

Well I haven’t experienced both personally, not ever having been binary trans, but here’s a bit of what I experience:

  • I pretty much will never get the option to go “stealth” as my gender, even if I wouldn’t wish to take it. Only men and women get to blend into this binary society as themselves.
  • According to the government, I don’t exist; instead they have a record of some woman living as me, and there’s literally no legal recourse for correcting my records.
  • People (cis and trans) use me as a “whipping boy” for their own unresolved gender issues. I’m happy to help people who are questioning their own identity, but I don’t appreciate others resolving their identities through challenging mine.

Further reading:  http://www.thetaskforce.org/downloads/release_materials/agendernotlistedhere.pdf  "By examining just a few of the key domains of the study, such as education, health care, employment, and police, it seems clear that gender variant respondents, including those who see their gender as hybrid, fluid, and/or rejecting of the male-female binary, are suffering significant impacts of anti-transgender bias and in some cases are at higher risk for discrimination and violence than their transgender counterparts in the study."